Insider Information
by saiken2009
Summary: This is a series of fics based on what went through the guys' minds during some of my favorite episodes. I think it offers fun insight into the show and the characters.
1. Down with the Machines

Author's Note: Ok, so I decided to take a page from Plush Chrome and Crystal Rose of Pollux and do a series of short fics based on some of my favorite episodes. The first one is Monkee vs Machine. I wanted to do a little perspective of what was going through the guys' minds as everything was happening. Hope you all like it. Thanks to both ladies for giving me the inspiration. I really liked this episode cause I personally think it's message reaches us into this generation, too. People are better than machines. I hate calling a customer service dept for instance and listening to a robot. That's not customer service. So without further babble….

Down with the Machines

Peter kicked at a rock in the street. He felt miserable. How had a machine outsmarted him? He hated machines. He liked people. People could smile. People could laugh. People could reason. When he'd first walked into the room, he was overwhelmed with confusion. He thought he was going to be interviewed by a person, not a machine. So when it had asked for his name, the only thing that came to his lips was "What?" The machine hadn't seen how nervous, confused or overwhelmed he was. Because it was a machine. And not a person.

He moped all the way back to the pad. The guys had been relying on him so much to get this job. Micky would have made a terrible lion feeder; he was so hyper, he'd probably terrify all the lions. Peter was in such a terrible mood that not even the mental image of Davy delivering pianos by bike made him smile. He almost didn't want to open the door to the pad, but knew he had to face his friends. He knew they wouldn't blame him, but he still didn't want to face them. He'd let them down.

He forced himself to open the door anyway. He was greeted by Davy riding around the living room on the unicycle with a big smile on his face. Micky jumped out in front of him and gave him a big hug.

"Hooray for Peter!" he exclaimed. "Why are you not 'hooray'-ing with me?" Micky asked after a moment.

"'Cause I was rejected," Peter answered solemnly.

"What?" Mike asked sitting on the stairs perusing through today's newspaper. Peter sighed and sat on the stairs next to Mike and recounted the whole day's events. Davy and Micky walked over to listen.

"No experience and no training necessary, and I couldn't even get that job," Peter said when he'd told of how the machine had left him completely befuddled and second guessing himself. "That machine was ten times smarter than me!"

"Look, man, its ok," Mike said patting him on the shoulder in support. "Besides, you've got something that machine don't have."

"Hmm?" Peter mumbled.

"You've got friends."

"Hey you've got some friends, Pete?" Micky asked jokingly. "Bring 'em over some day!" And in spite of everything that had happened and how downtrodden he felt, he smiled. He knew he could always count on Micky to cheer him up.

* * *

Now it was Mike's turn to feel terrible. He had gotten the job by outsmarting the machine, a feat he still wasn't sure how he managed to pull off, but he had met a really nice man who was being treated like dirt and there was nothing he could do. What was the world coming to? Machines were taking over the lives of human beings. Taking their jobs and taking all the human-ness out of everything. A machine couldn't account for human joy, happiness, misery or anything like that. And yet this company would rather their machines make their toys instead of a wonderful man who clearly loved making toys. He sat and thought for a while until Davy gave him an idea. Two little words was all it took. "Child's play." He knew his friends weren't going to like the plan, but it was all they had. Mike wasn't sure why, but he felt it was his duty to help this man whom he hadn't even known a day prior.

So they worked out the details of their plan, packing childish clothes, women's clothes, wigs, and other things they'd need. Micky had even found a detonator suggesting he could blow up one of the toys during the durability test. Mike was reluctant at first but agreed when Micky assured him the charge wasn't big enough to actually hurt anyone. Micky knew more about that stuff than he did, so he'd trusted Micky and let him pack it.

Once they got to the toy factory, everything was set in motion. Mike wasn't prepared to see his friends dressed as children and mothers, so he had to stifle a laugh when Peter and Davy came in first. Davy shot him a look that could kill an elephant, but took his frustration out on Mr. Daggart by kicking him in the shin. He thought it was so much fun, that he quickly got into his role of distracting child.

He still found it hard not to laugh when Davy came in a while later dressed as Micky's mother. Micky was very into his role from the beginning. Mike assumed it was because he'd get to blow something up as well as kick Mr. Daggart in the other shin. Mike bit his bottom lip trying not to laugh. He nearly lost it when Micky came in dressed as Peter's mom for the third test. Peter really enjoyed kicking Mr. Daggart in the shin and Mike assumed it was because he felt it was Mr. Daggart who had set the machine up that had made him feel like a failure.

* * *

Micky was enjoying himself, despite being dressed as a woman. Until, that is, Mr. Daggart came in saying he smelled a rat. Micky tried desperately to keep their cover, by adopting a high pitched voice and trying to get them out of there. But he froze and winced when Peter accidentally blew it by talking about how he shaved in the morning. All he could do was stand there as Mr. Daggart ripped off first Peter's hat then Micky's wig. He wasn't sure what was going on as Mr. Daggart walked over to one of the mothers of the other children, but knew it was bound to be bad. Peter stood next to him and Micky could almost feel the guilt coming from him for having blown their cover. This was only made worse when Mr. Daggart ripped off the woman's skirt trying to prove she was a fraud, too. Micky laughed and tried to make Peter feel better by goofing off. He did the only thing he could think of and that was to cover Peter's eyes from the scene like any other mother would for her child. It worked, Peter laughed.

But their laughter was short-lived as they all got fired, including Pops, the man they were trying to help in the first place. Peter excused himself to his room, and the others had decided to leave him be. Until Mike had come up with a plan to set everything right. And it was right in the end. Mr. Daggart got fired, Pops got promoted and millions of kids were happy. They even got to keep the machine to help them find other employment so they could keep paying their rent, but Micky knew the machine wouldn't stay in the pad very long when it kept telling them to do construction work. Something none of them were very good at and they all hated. The day had just been one giant emotional roller-coaster for all of them.


	2. Huntington Hartford Hates Pickled Herrin

This is one of my all time fave episodes. Has me laughing so hard my stomach hurts every time Micky walks down the stairs in that dress. Hope you like what I did here!

Huntington Hartford Hates Pickled Herring

Micky crouched in the bushes with his three other friends and looked through the binoculars at Leslie. Davy had been right; she was beautiful. But Davy had told them that morning that he hadn't really even been able to get close to talk to her. The three of them had encouraged Davy to just dive in, but for some reason he was nervous about talking to her on her front stoop. So they pushed him again. He finally went and asked her the question they'd told him might be a good opener, something about what television program she was watching.

Once Leslie went inside, the three boys got up and ran over to Davy to see what had happened. Davy couldn't really say anything coherent; he just kept describing how beautiful she was. Since the next step was to actually ask her on a date, they came back later that night. Davy knocked on the door, but was greeted by her father instead. Davy tried to distract him and get in the house, but it wasn't working. Taking a little pity on him, Micky thought of dressing up as bomb shelter inspectors to try and gain entry, but was frightened away at the military hardness of Leslie's father.

Micky was relieved when Cynthia told them that Leslie's father only lets her go to chaperoned parties. It gave Micky and Davy an idea to throw a party. When the four boys got home, Micky quickly read up on the history of World War 2, so he could do a good impersonation of a stuffy soldier to invite Leslie over for the party. The next step was to decorate for the party. They did this in typical Monkee fashion of doing more goofing off than actual work. They went to the store to pick up a few items and Mike had insisted on carrying a large heavy plant while riding on a dolly down the street that Micky was pushing. So when Micky saw a watering can, he thought it perfect to grab it and start pouring water on both the plant and Mike, much to Mike's chagrin. Although Peter thought it was funny because he egged him on.

Next Micky became buried under bags of popcorn while Peter starting blowing up balloons. Micky found it very difficult to put the balloons up and kept fighting with the streamers and tape to get them to stay. When Micky fell off the railing and couldn't get back up right away by jumping, Mike suggested that Micky just climb the stairs like a normal person. Micky just laughed and grabbed the banana from their fake monkey and tried again, succeeding this time. Meanwhile, Mike was struggling to open a bag of pretzels and soon let his anger get the better of him and started hacking at the bag with a hatchet. Davy wasn't doing much to help, but he found it more fun to pop the balloons Peter was blowing up. Instead of getting annoyed, Peter just kept blowing air out of his mouth pretending the balloon was still there. Peter also found it funny when Micky had slipped a fake goldfish in the juicer to make it look like a goldfish had been in the orange and Mike had placed a squirt gun in some flowers to spray Peter when he wasn't looking. To get back at them, Peter called Micky down the stairs, knowing full well Micky would slide on the railing, just as Mike was passing with his cake he'd worked so hard to make perfect thereby causing Micky to do a face plant right into it.

Now it was time to try and find a chaperone. Micky wondered how they were going to find one on such short notice, but Mike had told them that he'd already worked that out. Micky cringed when he saw Mike had asked their landlord Mr. Babbit to do it. He felt hopeful, however, when Mr. Babbit seemed willing to help them, but that hope was soon squashed when Mr. Babbit started working out a fee. Now they didn't have a chaperone. However, when their cleaning lady showed up, an idea struck all four of them. She was quite the drunk, but they figured they could train her to talk properly and act propery, and Micky even had a dress for her to wear. However their plans failed yet again when she passed out drunk on their bed. Thinking that as soon as Leslie's dad saw the chaperone and leave, Micky threw on a blonde wig and the dress and went downstairs.

As the night went on, however, Micky grew angry with his friends as the General AND Mr. Babbit started trying to get fresh with Micky. His heart sank when the General finally discovered the ruse and pulled them all into the corner in the kitchen. He flinched a little when the General smacked Micky's behind and said that Micky had just agreed to marry him. He should have known then that the General knew the truth, but it didn't click in his head until the General pulled the wig off Micky's head. When Mr. Babbit barged in talking to Micky like he was still Mrs. Arcadian and asked him if he'd done something with his hair, Micky couldn't believe it. Was Mr. Babbit really that stupid? Now the four of them sat around the house with all the party guests, the General, Leslie and Cynthia all gone. Micky was still fuming a little at his friends for making him keep up the ruse.

"Are you mad, Micky?" Peter asked.

"Mad?" Micky echoed sarcastically. "Now why should I be mad? I only had the General AND Mr. Babbit hit on me all night!"

"Well, you're the one who chose to dress up as a woman," Mike pointed out.

"You made a very pretty woman, too," Davy laughed.

"Yes, you mentioned that," Micky said. "I'm lovely, remember?"

"Well, what did you want us to do?" Mike asked laughing.

"You didn't have to drag me out of the closet," Micky said. "And you didn't have to joke about me being Davy's Mother –in- law, either Mike."

"Oh come on, that was funny," Mike said.

"And you didn't have to hit me on the head with the tambourine during our song," Micky said to Davy.

"I did that cause you kept trying to mess with Peter's guitar!" Davy laughed.

"Ok, ok," Mike said chuckling. "Micky's right. We shouldn't have let Micky deal with that all night."

"It was pretty funny, though," Davy laughed.

"Yeah, but he did it for you," Mike said. "He was being a good friend and we weren't."

"You're right, Mike," Peter said. "Sorry, Micky."

"Yeah, sorry, Micky," Davy added. Micky smiled. He couldn't stay mad at his friends for that long. And he had to admit, it was pretty funny. He must have looked like a laugh riot.

"Just so long as I don't have to do it again," Micky said.


	3. Gonna Buy me a Song

This one's kinda short, but I couldn't resist. I love this episode. I didn't do a summary like I do in my others, but I just added a scene towards the end. I want to dedicate this piece to MonkeeMidgie because I know Mike is her fave Monkee and I hope she likes this!

Gonna Buy Me a Song

The boys all piled into the car in excitement. They had just spent the last hour pulling a scheme over on one Bernard Class, evil scam artist extraordinaire. He had taken Mike for a hundred bucks which Mike had to pawn his precious guitar just to get and told him his song was going to be a big hit, when all he was doing was making money off other people's dreams. He really was the lowest of the low. But they had won out. Mike felt incredibly touched. His friends had felt bad for what had happened to him, so they all chipped in to come up with a plan to get Mike's money back after they couldn't cheer him up. They'd tried so hard to cheer him up, too. Micky had even done an amazing impression of Fred Astaire doing James Cagney. Mike had thought it was funny, but he was too depressed to laugh. He'd been wallowing in his own misery and sorrow and his friends had the heart to force him out of it whether he wanted to or not. And for that, Mike was eternally grateful.

"That was awesome!" Micky said throwing the fake cigar into the trash.

"You were great, Micky!" Davy agreed.

"Yeah, I really believed you were a big shot movie producer!" Peter agreed.

"Please, please, no autographs," Micky said carrying over his producer impression making them all laugh. "You guys were great, too, although I almost broke that broom with how much you were dusting me with it, Davy."

"Peter, did you actually write anything down?" Davy asked laughing.

"No, I just drew pictures," Peter answered.

"What are you waiting for, Mike?" Micky asked to Mike sitting behind the steering wheel. "Onward to the pawnshop so we can get your guitar back!"

"I just…" Mike started, he hadn't realized how choked up he really was. "I can't believe you guys did that for me."

"It was nothing, Mike," Davy said. "Nothing you wouldn't have done for the rest of us."

"I was a little annoyed that you guys were laughing at me for trying this in the first place," Mike said. "But what you guys just did for me…I can't thank you guys enough."

"Don't mention it, Mike," Peter said with a smile that touched Mike's heart.

"Davy's right, man," Micky said. "Nothing you wouldn't have done for any of us. And we didn't mean to upset you by laughing. We really didn't mean anything by it."

"I know that now," Mike said. "But you guys were right; it was stupid of me to try this."

"No, it wasn't!" Peter exclaimed. "If you want to be a songwriter, then you should go for it!"

"We just didn't think that this guy was on the up and up," Micky added.

"I like the song," Davy added. "It's cute, funny, and heartwarming. Joanie Jans would have been lucky to have that in her movie."

"Still," Mike said. "I can't thank you guys enough. I didn't realize how lucky I was to have friends like you."

"We're the lucky ones," Peter said. Mike smiled and felt himself tearing up a bit. He choked it back and started the car.

"Let's go get my guitar back," Mike said.

"Hey, what are you going to do with the extra money?" Davy asked.

"Once we get my guitar I want to go this old man's house," Mike answered. "He got scammed, too, so I want to give it to him."

"That's really nice of you, Mike," Micky said.

"It's only the right thing to do," Mike answered. As he drove to the pawn shop, he kept thinking about how eternally lucky he was. He knew that he could never repay his friends for the kindness and sacrifice they showed him today, but he knew that he would try.


End file.
